angeljazz711 (angeljazz711) wrote,
angeljazz711
angeljazz711

Detox

I've been slightly depressed lately, which is weird because I'm still taking my meds, but it's not so weird because I'm also detoxing my body. All those emotions get stored away and resurface again when we clean them out.

My depression consists of USFU. UselessStupidFatUgly. UselessStupidFatUgly. UselessStupidFatUgly.

My worst fears all amount to me being invisible, a nothing, and therefore unlovable. It becomes so hard to trek on when I'm devastated with myself.

And other times, I get "happy" again, and I accept myself for what I am, even if it's USFU, and I don't care what people think. The devastation is gone and replaced by blind acceptance of those flaws which keep me from being normal. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a normal member of society; maybe I was meant to be quirky and strange and unable to function.

Maybe I know who I am. But "who I am" is the problem.
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